_{STAR SPANGLED M&A}

Manifest & Acquisitions

With the U.S. claiming $17.3 trillion of oil simply because it wanted to, it got me thinking about what other fun M&A opportunities might exist for the country.

I mean, now is the time to buy. With $17.3 trillion of oil under Marco Rubio’s control, we can pay down half of our national debt and have a nice deleveraging story. Plus, our stock market is at an all time high and allegedly we are earning billions in tariff revenues. Put all that together and we are in a solid position to buy something.

If anyone in the US government is reading this. I expect a left lead position on this deal since I didn’t get one on Netflix x Warner Bros.

1. Acquisition of Greenland via a bilateral negotiation with Denmark

   1. Deal Value: $500 billion - $1 trillion

   2. Thesis: Horizontal integration of the Arctic Circle through the strategic acquisition of a stranded asset providing near term value through its significant natural resource endowment and upside potential through control of Arctic shipping lanes.

   3. Investment Highlights:

      1. Significant Natural Resources: Greenland isn’t just some poorly named icy rock in the middle of the ocean, it is a natural resources vault. It has significant deposits of rare earth minerals, uranium, and an estimated 31 billion barrels of oil. An acquisition of Greenland could break the Chinese monopoly on rare earth minerals and secure the supply chain for everything from the iPhone I’m writing this on to the F35s we may have to send to persuade Denmark.

      2. Geographic Synergies: Greenland is a stranded asset for Denmark. At its narrowest point, it is only 16 miles from Canada’s Ellesmere Island, yet is 2,200 miles from Copenhagen. Immediate cost synergies can be achieved by reducing travel expenses to and from the world’s largest island. Unlike many other deals we saw last year, these synergies don’t require any LinkedIn updates.

      3. Upside Potential: As the Arctic ice melts, Greenland has a front row seat for a new Polar Silk Road, which could be a critical trade path with access to both Russia and China.

      4. Strong Relationship with Existing Owner: The US has a strong history of M&A with Denmark following its acquisition of Virgin Islands from Denmark back in 1917 for $25 million in gold. Given this history, there is potential for favorable negotiations between the counterparties.

      5. Significant Value to Seller: Denmark only has a GDP of $460 billion, which is smaller than the State of Minnesota, so a windfall of $500 billion would be a significant benefit to the Nation, and may motivate them for a sale. By comparison, the US spends about $500 billion per month, making this a relatively immaterial drop in the bucket for our spending.

2. Acquire Canadian Provinces in exchange for Maine and Detroit Lions

   1. Target Assets: Alberta and Saskatchewan

   2. Consideration: Maine and the Detroit Lions

      1. Maine is already close to Canada and it is the 44th / 50 states by GDP, making it something we can live without.

      2. The Lions offer the same appeal as the Maple Leafs. Something to cheer for because of pure delusion, which appears to be popular in Canada.

   3. Thesis: Strategic carve out of the two Canadian provinces that are actually productive, which would reduce regulatory friction and secure total commodity dominance. Potential consideration around redrawing of borders and logistical complications with the stranding of British Columbia must be considered.

   4. Investment Highlights:

      1. Operational Synergies: Alberta’s oil sands and Saskatchewan’s high-grade uranium are the missing pieces for a self-sufficient US grid. By bringing these provinces into the domestic fold, it would eliminate border frictions that cause capital flow issues between the US and Canada. This is a white knight opportunity for the people of Alberta and the six moose who live in Saskatchewan.

      2. Commodity Monopoly: The US can immediately bolt on Alberta to its recent acquisition of $17.3 trillion worth of oil from Venezuela and its existing oil production, cementing itself as the dominant oil producer in the world. Additionally, Saskatchewan produces 35% of the world’s potash, which would put the US as a leader in the global food market as well (though we may eat our own supply).

      3. Limited Upfront Consideration: By trading Maine and the Detroit Lions, the US effectively loses nothing while gaining Canada’s third largest province by GDP in Alberta.

      4. Amenable Seller: It’s Canada. Just say please and they will apologize for making us pay anything. Disclaimer, I am a dual citizen of Canada, so I know this is true.

      5. Limited Business Interruptions: Given the geographic proximity of Alberta and Saskatchewan to the US and each other, integration will be relatively straightforward. Additionally, there is no language barrier between the US and Canada (except for the unfortunate souls in Quebec), which would also facilitate a smooth transition.

3. Re-Acquisition of the Panama Canal

   1. Deal Size: $25 - $45 billion

   2. Thesis: Infrastructure roll-up to ensure 100% supply chain sovereignty over the most critical artery of trade in the Western Hemisphere and remove Chinese influence.

   3. Investment Highlights:

      1. Supply Chain Security: 40% of US container traffic passes through the canal, an acquisition would secure a critical path for US bound goods.

      2. Existing US Support in Region: In March 2025, BlackRock led a consortium to acquire numerous ports from CK Hutchison, including those at Balboa and Cristobal.

      3. Extensive Knowledge of the Asset: The US built the canal and managed its P&L until 1999, so this would be a re-acquisition.

      4. Limited Capital Requirement: $25 billion is a rounding error on the US federal budget. The TSA once spent $25 billion on security scanners in airports that were so bad they were outlawed in Europe, so I think we can find the money for this one.

4. Take Private of the Bahamas

   1. Deal size: $50 billion

   2. Thesis: Similar to some micro cap companies, a country with a GDP on par with that of Boone County, Kentucky cannot support being a standalone country. Furthermore, this acquisition would onshore ~$3 trillion of capital and captures massive tax revenue leakages.

   3. Investment Highlights:

      1. Onshoring Offshore: Brings the 700+ islands under the US flag and onshores an estimated $3 trillion in capital that currently sits there.

      2. Immediate Revenue Synergies: By eliminating or reducing the tax favorability of the Bahamas, the US treasury can capture an immediate windfall. These proceeds can support further deleveraging.

      3. Tourism Integration Reduces Leakage: 80-90% of the tourism to the Bahamas is from US travelers. Bringing this travel in house would prevent leakage and make travel easier as it becomes domestic.

      4. Existing Island Knowhow: The US has island states and territories, offering a clear framework for how to manage a state off of the mainland.

That’s my sovereign M&A targets for you. If you or someone you know is able to facilitate these deals, reach out to us. Our crack intern can start putting together some star spangled marketing materials worthy of these yuge deals. Please note we only accept left lead positions but we are flexible on fees and can be creative in our compensation structure (I will take an island just not Greenland).

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